


Indulgence

by cadkitten



Category: Dir en grey, the GazettE
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-30
Updated: 2007-11-30
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:06:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Die takes a chance, going after his good friend in an attempt to experiment with his suspected sexuality and the something deeper he suspects exists between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> 50stories 010: Book and for the y!weekly prompt 021: Experimentation.

Die stared down at the book in his lap, slight shock registering in the part of his brain that comprehended the many meanings behind the words he'd just read.

_As the next step toward being the person that you desire to be, you need to let go of all of your inhibitions. Somewhere inside of you, there's likely the desire to experiment with various aspects of your life. Let go, indulge, be who you want to be for a night. Forget the consequences that have bound you up until now, relax, and have the night of your life._

Could he really do that? Simply let everything that bound him, his every fear and worry, just slip away? Shakily he closed the book and set it down on the table before him. He ran his hand through his freshly dyed hair, letting the feeling of it caress his overly sensitized skin. Why was it that the first thing to come to mind was probably the worst idea? Why was it that a certain blonde bassist was a significant part of that thought?

He let his eyes slip shut as he sighed and leaned back against the couch. The answers were all quite simple, of course. Reita had been on his mind for weeks now and never in ways appropriate to the friendship that they shared. In fact, the entire reason he was reading the self-help book at all was because of the bassist... the way he made him feel when he was around, the way he sent a sharp thrill through his body at the slightest touch. The whole thing was so new to Die; it was something he'd never explored before, never even had the desire to before this. Everything about Reita was... different. Just the connection they seemed to share was far more than what Die had ever had with any girl he'd dated or any friend he'd ever had. If he'd had to put a name to it, he'd almost say soul mate fit best, despite how incredibly cliché that sounded. But then there was the burning desire mixed in with it....

He pushed himself back up and fished his cell phone from his pocket as he glanced at the clock on his DVD player. 7:48... it was definitely late enough to invite him out. Determination set in as he dialed the all-too-familiar number. His heart beat wildly in his chest as the phone rang.... once... twice... thrice... and then Reita's voice greeted his ears in his smooth, oddly soothing way.

"Hey, Die. What's the occasion?"

Die swallowed hard, his nerves forcing his voice a bit higher than normal once he managed to speak. "Uh... I was just wondering if you'd like to... go somewhere tonight... a club maybe."

"Sure, I'm always game for that. You should know that by now!"

"Okay... meet me at the small club down by your place in... an hour?"

"Sounds great! See you there."

Die hung up, knowing Reita wasn't one to say goodbye and frankly, neither was he. He sat there for a few minutes, trying to calm himself down. Reita had no idea what he was planning, and that fact alone was setting him on edge. All of the possible 'what ifs' were running through his mind at full speed.

Finally he got up and headed into his bedroom, knowing he only had, at the most, twenty minutes to get ready and leave in time to catch the next train over to Reita's part of town and still be on time. He yanked his shirt over his head and shoved his sweatpants down his hips. Standing in only his boxers, he began sifting through his closet. He skipped over all his t-shirts and jeans, heading straight into the section of his closet normally reserved for after-parties and the like. Immediately he pulled out his tightest pair of black leather pants and pulled them on, struggling a bit, since it'd been a year or so since he'd worn them and he'd put on a pound or two muscle-wise since then. Carefully, he sifted through the various silk shirts, fishnet, simple black button-downs, and about anything else imaginable. Finally he settled on a fairly form-fitting white button-down with a w-cut bottom.

He pulled on his favorite red high-tops, unwilling to part with that piece of his typical relaxed wardrobe, knowing full well it'd hurt his feet if he didn't wear them tonight. He made a quick pit-stop into the bathroom, applying some eyeliner and lip gloss for good measure, and grabbing the two most important items of the evening from the shelf and taking them back to the bedroom.

Nervously he ran a hand through his hair again as he locked up his apartment and quickly made his way down to the train station. He made it with two minutes to spare, the train just pulling up as he entered the platform. For the entire ride, he stood in a corner of the car, nervously fidgeting with the lowest button on his shirt, unable to soothe his nerves in the least.

Once he exited the train and began to make his way toward the club, he took out his cell phone, unable to stop worrying that Reita would figure out what he was up to and change his mind. He typed out a text message as he walked, not really paying any mind to the things going on around him.

_Hey, you still coming?_

A minute or so passed, Die staring down at the phone the entire time, praying for the reply he so desperately wanted to see appear on the screen. It vibrated in his hand, the screen lighting up, casting a blue hue into the night as it displayed the reply.

_Already here. Why so worried?_

He grimaced slightly before replying. _No reason..._

_Bullshit._

_... Shut up._

He flipped the phone closed and stuffed it back into his pocket as he rounded the corner to the club. He stared up at the neon sign for a moment before shaking his head and slipping inside, briefly flashing his ID at the bouncer as he brushed past. They were already so familiar with him that it was just a formality at this point anyway. He weaved his way through the crowd of people, making his way to the booth he and Reita seemed to always end up occupying, knowing he'd find his friend waiting for him there. And, indeed, that was exactly where he found the blonde. He smiled at the other, deliberating for a moment before sliding in next to him rather than across from him.

Reita pushed a beer toward him. "What's the occasion?"

Die glanced nervously at his companion, gulping down a good portion of the drink before replying. "I just felt like seeing you..."

"And you got all dressed up and invited me out for that?"

Die could feel the other man's gaze rake over him, almost tangible in its substance. He shivered slightly, enjoying the attention, perhaps too much. "Yes."

"You're lying again."

He turned his head to stare at the other, an annoyed look on his face. "What the hell is with you and being able to do that?"

"I just know you that well... that's all. So spill, why are you sitting next to me, why are you dressed to the nines, and why am I here on a Saturday night?"

Die took another swig of his beer and cringed. He really should have expected this. After all, Reita was always direct and to the point. "I..." he shook his head, "does it really matter?" He could almost feel his hopes being bashed against the rocks.

Reita leaned close, resting his hand on Die's thigh. "Yes, it does matter."

A jolt of desire shot through Die at the contact and he sucked in a tiny breath as an icy cold feeling trickled down his spine. He remained staring at the bottle in his hand for a moment before chugging the rest of it and pulling away, standing to go to the bar and get another drink. "You want another?"

Reita shook his head and Die headed off to the bar. Once there, he ordered two shots and another beer. He took the shots at the bar, letting the burn of the alcohol and the slight rush give him the courage to return to the table.

He stood by the table for a moment, indecisive until Reita patted the seat next to him.

"Just get over here, will ya?"

He slipped in beside of the blonde, nervously fondling the neck of the green bottle.

They sat there in silence as Reita sipped his own beer, seeming to stare straight into Die as he did. Finally he shifted slightly in his seat, moving closer to Die and placing his hand on his thigh again, this time gently caressing it. "Since when do I make you nervous?"

Die stared hard at the table before him. "Since now."

"Then there's a reason for it... is there not?"

He nodded slightly, his hair falling down to obscure his face.

"It's simple then. You tell me the reason and we're done with the nerves."

Die closed his eyes, figuring he had little to no chance of getting Reita drunk enough to make his confession and he'd promised himself he'd do it tonight. If everything crashed down around his ears because of it, then so be it. "I invited you here tonight because I want you... simple as that." He winced, expecting Reita to get mad at him or at least shriek in his ear. But much to his surprise, Reita's touch simply moved to his inner thigh and he shifted closer to him, pressing against his side.

"Your plan didn't have to involve coming all the way across the city, you know. You could have just told me you wanted me to come over so you could fuck my brains out."

Die blinked down at his untouched beer for a moment before turning to stare stupidly at the bassist. "Huh?"

Reita sighed. "You're so fucking dense sometimes." He reached up and pulled Die down, initiating a heated kiss, his tongue immediately plunging into the other's mouth before abruptly pulling back and smirking. "Take me home and fuck me. Stop wasting time and money here."

The guitarist shivered as the full impact of what was happening hit him. It was really going to happen, his entire goal for the night, accomplished through Reita's means, not his own. He shook his head, a soft laugh escaping him. "I can't even get coming on to you done right. Yet you think I'll be able to do the rest right?"

"You're a fucking sex god, Die... you'll manage somehow. Now let's get the hell out of here."

Almost immediately Die slid from the booth, boldly grasping Reita's hand and pulling him with him toward the door. They made the entire journey back to Die's apartment hand-in-hand, uncaring of the odd looks from passerby, uncaring of the beer they'd left behind, only looking forward to what would inevitably occur once they arrived.

By the time they got to the apartment, Die could barely get the key in the lock, he was so worked up. Reita kindly pretended not to notice, just shoved him down the hallway after they rid themselves of their shoes, intent on reaching the bedroom and their goal as fast as possible.

Reita tugged Die down onto the bed on top of him, immediately dragging him down into a passionate kiss. Die moaned softly into the bassist's mouth as they moved further up on the bed, until they were in the middle of it. The blonde's fingers tangled into his red hair, pulling him closer as he drug his hand down the other man's side. Die responded by grinding his hips down against Reita's, providing his half-hard length with pleasurable friction. Reita arched back against him, his hands sliding down to grip at the guitarist's ass as he increased the pressure between them.

Die pulled back from the kiss, yanking Reita's shirt over his head and tossing it aside as Reita began to unbutton his shirt. The blonde leaned up and nipped lightly at Die's collarbone, following each nip with a soothing lap of his tongue until he pushed the guitarist's shirt from his shoulders and Die tossed it to the floor. Die sat back, quickly undoing his pants, freeing his straining erection from his pants and then from his boxers before leaning back over the other and tugging at his white jeans.

Reita helped to rid himself of them as quickly as possible. "Just how long have you wanted this?"

Die paused, midway to grabbing the condom and lube from the nightstand. He bit his lip as he stared down at the other. A faint blush graced his cheeks as he snatched the items from their resting place and settled back down between Reita's thighs. "A few weeks, I guess..."

The bassist smirked up at him as he grasped his own erection in his hand and began to pump it. "Hmm... I've wanted you for longer."

Die groaned softly at the display before ripping the condom open and sliding it over his own length and smearing some of the lube onto himself.

Reita held out his hand. "Lube..." He nodded his thanks as Die slid the tube into his hand and he poured some over his fingertips. He rearranged himself as best he could, sliding his hand down between them, his fingers slowly disappearing inside of himself.

Die leaned down, kissing his lover to help distract him from any discomfort as best he could. His long fingers found their way around the blonde's length, stroking him until Reita pulled his own hand away and managed to gasp out, "Die... fuck... take me!"

The red-head immediately repositioned them, placing himself against Reita's tight entrance, pushing forward slightly until he slipped in past the tight ring of muscle. He pushed in the rest of the way, quickly seating himself deep within the other and then paused to let him get used to him.

Reita's arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer as he buried his head into Die's shoulder, stifling a soft whimper.

Die heard it anyway and gently began kissing the other's neck and shoulders. "Does it hurt too much?"

The blonde shook his head. "It'll pass... just give me a minute."

Die waited until Reita began to move beneath him, barely shifting his hips, but still causing enough friction to make the older man moan in pleasure. His hips jerked of their own accord, pushing him in as deep as he could get before pulling almost halfway out and plunging back in again. "Ah! So goddamn tight... fuck."

Between them they set up a steady rhythm, tolerable for Reita and still pleasurable for Die. After a few minutes, Die slid his hand down between them, grasping Reita's mostly limp length in his hand and beginning to tug it back to hardness. "Are you getting anything from this, Rei?" Die's voice held genuine concern as he paused the movement of his hips to lean up a bit and look down into his lover's eyes.

Reita bit his lip for a moment, his deliberation obvious on his face. "I... um... here." He shifted around a bit, causing Die to moan at the movement and the constriction of Reita's muscles around him. He smirked up at him as he wrapped his legs around the other's waist. "Now try it."

Die pulled back a bit before sinking back into his lover's warmth. With each slow thrust, Reita shifted ever so slightly until finally Die thrust in and a cry of pleasure wrenched itself free from him. "Shit... there, right there, Die!" The guitarist thrust in, over and over, each movement of his hips seeming to cause mounting pleasure for the man below him. Reita's hardened length rubbed against Die's abdomen with every thrust, doubling the bassist's ecstasy. He threw his head back, giving a throaty moan as he came hard, his release splashing out onto his own stomach. His muscles clenched hard around the guitarist, pulling constant sounds of pleasure from the other. Die thrust faster into him, each thrust getting harder than the last until he slammed into his lover as deep as possible, his body tensing and then shuddering in pleasure as he released.

Shakily he leaned down, resting slightly on the other as he pulled out. The bassist's name slipped unbidden from his lips, gentle and passionate, "Rei..." They stayed that way for a moment, allowing time to catch their breath before Die moved away, disposing of the condom and getting tissues to help Reita clean up. He sat on the edge of the bed, gently cleaning the other up, once more nervous as to what was going to happen. Once he was done, he tossed the tissues into the trash can and took his chances, leaning down to kiss the other, gently parting Reita's lips with his tongue, creating a soft passionate kiss.

Reita responded equally until Die pulled away. He watched the guitarist push his hand through his hair, just one telltale sign of his nerves. He reached out and gently pulled the other's arm. "Lay down." Die almost immediately followed his request, lying beside of him, draping one arm across the blonde's abdomen. Reita turned into the embrace, gently returning it as he lightly kissed down Die's neck. He paused, letting his eyes drift closed as he inhaled the distinct scent of his lover. "You don't need to freak out, you know. I wanted this as much as you did... and nothing has to change if you don't want it to."

Die was silent for a minute. "I... that's just it, Rei... I _do_ want it to change things between us. I'm closer to you than I've been to anyone else in a long time. Something... something's just so _right_ about this. I can't help but want more... but to want it to be..." he fell silent, unable to finish the thought out loud.

"Forever." Reita pulled him closer, hiding his smile against the nape of Die's neck. "I think I'd like that." He could feel it as Die relaxed against him, a gentle sigh of relief leaving him.

"Me too... me too."

They stayed like that until the sun began to appear over the horizon, spilling its light into the small bedroom. Only then did the two lovers let sleep claim their weary bodies and minds.


End file.
